The day i killed my students

gave my students a test today...

killed them i think ...

after i glanced their answers ...

time for them to wake up ...

time for me to wake up ...

良师益友难寻

Today was a very bad day for one of my classes... some students were in caught in the act for doing something not pleasant in school. As a result, the whole class was asked to write statements coz although they knew the incident, they never report to the school. Then instead of realizing that the act itself was no good, some of the students began to accuse of others of sabo-ing them by reporting it to the authorities. An underlying current of dissent and distrust was built up.

Just want to add on to my 2 cents worth regarding this issue:

If there is REALLY this someone who "sabo-ed" the wrong-doers, I really want to applaud him/her for his/her courage to speak up, for reasons below:
(1) He or she doesn't stand to gain at all in the incident! Teachers are not going to praise him/her for being the teachers pet. In fact, he/she knows that he/she would risk incurring the wrath of others, yet he/she chose to do it. I applaud his/her courage to stand for what is right.
(2) He/she knows the severity of the problem. The incident was really bad. He/she felt that the best way to help his/her friend might be only be through the proper channel of authorities. True friends are those who go all out to help his/her friends, even when sometimes the decisions might be unpopular. 苦口良药。I applaud his/her love for his/her friends.

However, I personally believe no one in the class saboed them, and that it's juz plain silliness that students choose to do the wrong act, especially in school. The act itself is already silly enuff.. in school...aiyoh...how big can the school be? Any other students, any school workers, any teachers, any visitors can easily notify things that are rather unusual....

Hopefully this incident will come to a conclusion. Grow up lar, kids! I'm sure all of them will become more mature people in time to come.

Back to NUS

Today felt fed-up in school. Both the classes i taught very rowdy. I think it's juz after recess.... anyway, students dun listen, dun do work, say they dun noe but nvr listen... aiyoh... learning attitute not that good... dun noe why felt frustrated...after all who will be sitting for O levels? Why shd we be worried for them? It's not my own future that I'm caring about anyway...

But as such thoughts came into my mind, I chose not to dwell in the staff room....but to walk around the school, visiting the various CCAs, students..somehow I feel that this is part of teaching... it's a calling....a calling of sacrifice...it takes pains to groom someone... but such pain is very difficult to bear...am i able?

Anyway, after that, went back NUS to eat the arts yong tau foo. Yum! Yum! so so so happy... The auntie said i am so fortunate because for this week, they opened till 7.30pm (normally they closed at 5pm) which means that there are still lots for yong tau foo pieces to choose from when I was there at 5.30pm....haha...makes my day man!! so happy. God-given comfort.

Went back to science crusade corner... saw some old friends like weilong, fangting, bixia, weiyen... wow...time really flies liao... was very happy to be given an opportunity to share with juniors about making a difference in a working world... so miss the days that I'm studying... but as what weilong say was true, when he tells some potential teachers-to-be that we really need are people in the teaching field, people who are dedicated and are able to impart the correct values to a generation where truth becomes relative. Are we able to take up the challenge?

尊师重道，孝顺父母

养不教,父之过。教不善，师之惰。

These words came into my mine as I come across a couple of rude students today. Some students have generally no respect of teachers, They seem to have the 天上天下，为我独尊attitute. From what I feel, if they don't even know what is respecting their teachers and parents now, how are they going to respect others in future? More importantly, how are they going to demand respect from others?

Respect comes from young. Heard from an experienced teacher today that even if a student passes all his subjects with flying colours, but does not learn to respect others, our education system has still failed miserably. Pride brings a person down, but humility lifts him up. What better way of showing humility, but to first respect others?

I'm upset that some of these values are not taught in homes ... should teachers then step in to enforce these values? It feels a downhill task, esp in this consumerism era, where there seem to be a lack of support from the public regarding these issues...

Reflections

Some students commented that my blog skin is rather old fashioned...ohhh okie..i admit! I am old fashioned okay? I'm still using a nokia 3310 lar... those nutcracker kind...drop drop also won't spoil one..haha

Anyway today did nothing productive today...really.... but reflected a lot.... reflect reflect reflect... those days that u think of why why why.... try to get inspirations on how to teach...try to get inspirations on life... try to gain inspirations on lots of things...wah..going to be philosophical liao..

Doesn't wanna blog too much..juz sitting in front of the computer and stone...stone... stone...

Should teachers blog?

Today have a fairly fruitful day. In the morning, went for a haircut at Redhill...$6.90 barber..haha...the only time I have a cheaper barber is during my NS days..then visited my grandpa...thank God he is healthy, despite his medical history.

Reached back home by 11... went on net, when my ex-teacher (now my somewhat mentor) msned me, asking me to read the newspapers regarding teachers who blogs... I'm glad to have such a mentor-friend, who prepares me and gives me sound advice in my life ahead... she asks me to be careful with what I say..students or the public can complain against teachers over the tiniest matters...

So I went out and got a copy of Sunday Times from a nearby shop. As I read the papers, 2 articles strike me strongly. The first article is "Teachers in a blog spot", about the public response with teachers' blogging. The 2nd one is "Secret lives of S'pore teens", about Singaporean teens having sex. I'm very surprised by these 2 articles.

For the response on the first article, some people say that teachers shouldn't blog. They must have a code of professional ethics. If they complain to other people their job, it do not seem right, as they are considered to be role models. For this, I feel that why it is good that teachers blog.

(1) We feel young, at least in tune with the present generation.
(2) Students or other people will know that teachers are people with feelings, not just robots or actors on stage. We are as real as they are.
(3) When I read blogs of people, I feel that many of the blogs are filled with negative contents, such as insults, vulgarities, bursts of angers, complains, catfights... shouldn't there be more blogs to emphasize on good values too?
(4) A good role model shouldn't hide his/her struggles. In fact they should share them appropriately, so that people can learn from them, or they may be others with similar struggles writing on to encourage the bloggers.

However, there are some things that teacher bloggers should take note.
(1) Never use blogs to complain about students, or to hit back at them. Blogs should be a vehicle to encourage and edify, not to put down or any political agenda.
(2) Never disclose too much about your school, esp the structure and internal stuffs... we have a code of conduct. If we have anything to complain about the school management and structure, I suggest we should kick the cat next door for instant gratification. Blogging about such stuffs serves only to fan the forest fire even more.
(3) There's no need to disclose too much of your personal life. Come on, we are not full-time celebrities. We need our privacy.
(4) no vulgarities. Even try not to write things like %#$%#%@#%@%@# :)

In respsonse to the 2nd article, I'm not surprised to hear teenage sex on the rise. Even in army, I hear of some of my platoon mates having sex with people during their teenage years. However, I am alarmed at the numbers that are quoted in the article. In one survey of 500 teens, 1/4 people had sex. The average age of Singaporeans having sex for the first time is 18.4. In Singapore, the average marrying age is 30 for men, 27 for women. If you put all these statistics together, you will wonder how many people have premarital sex at least once in their lives? Alarming isn't it?

I personally feel that pre-marital sex is strictly no-no. If I love that someone, I will wait till marriage. I know of ladies who have sex with their so called boyfriends just becoz their boyfriends say they love them. But the ladies feel so "cheap" in the end after that when their boyfriends leave them... But I will juz remind youths that sex does not equate to love. In a BGR, sex without other commitments does not equate love. In fact, it only shows lust. For a strong relationship, commitments, responsibilities, honouring the bodies of each other, care, concern, respect also place great importances. That's why marriage is the only institution that enables all these values to take place, and it is the only safe harbour should a new born come into this world. I have known of teenagers who admit having 6-7 relationships and they are only sec 3! Is this a product of our sex-crazed media, lack of sexuality education from schools and families, or something worse than that?

Then in the afternoon, went church, and took care of the sunday school children.Shared with them on Jesus walking on water. Very fun to be with them. Played hide and seek, and one leg, and running competitions. Kids are really active. i'm old liao. How to manage them in future? haha. but have fun.

Thank God for an eventful sunday.

First picture

This is the picture that my student took when I'm not looking... haha..but I will put it up coz i look cool in it :)

Making of a man of God

Wah, just read off some of the entries of my students' blog...one bugger actually secretly took a picture of me teaching on the board...very bad sia...haha...next time if i catch any camera phone in class.... it will be mine...bwahaha.

Anyway, from their sharing, I'm actually happy to see them helping out asking for donations from 12-6 pm... can see their hardwork...having fun but at the same time doing their bit for the community. 辛苦你们了！Go here go there...stand under the hot sun for hours...ask here ask there... not easy lor... but it sure is a very memorable experience. Hope thru this experience, their love for the community will grow, and that they will be more generous in future donations...:)

Today went to Pastor Benny Ho's seminar about the life of Elijah - making of a man of God. Very interesting seminar... Never fell asleep although it was 4 hours long! It reminds me that God is a God of providence, provision and promise. In the midst of darkness, He trained up Elijah to shine forth His light... so comforted... Wanna Him to train me up to shine forth His light in where ever He places me, but hopefully not to a place of too much suffering..haha.

There is this poem that was shown to us... I find it quite funny yet true

If God should go on strike
It's just a good thing God above has never gone on strike.
Because he wasn't treated fair on things he didn't like.
If he had only once sat down and said, "That's it - I'm through!
I've have enough of those on earth, so this is what I'll do.

I'll give me orders to the sun, cut off the heat supply
And to the moon, give no more light and run your oceans dry.
Then, just to really make it tough and put the pressure on,
Turn off the air and oxygen till every breath is gone!"

Do you know he would be justified if fairness is the game?
For no one has been more abused or treated with disdain
Than God - and yet he carried on supplying you and me
With all the favours of his grace and everything, for free.

Men say they want a better deal and so on strike they go,
But what a deal we have given God to whom everything we owe.
We don't care who we hurt or harm to gain the things we like
But what a mess we will be in if God should go on strike!"

after tt, went to paya lebar singpost there to eat...then see lots of people dancing cha cha at the open space..wah..reminded me of JC mass dance...fun fun...haha

Fun Friday

Today's blog is quite different from blogs from other week days..because i shall not talk about my classes today. Everyday talk about them...sure boring one..wat kind of teacher I am? Haha. However I just wanna praise one Sec 4 NT class whom I have for relief lessons this morning...they are really really well behaved! 35 minutes of joy in sitting in their classroom, I even praise them in front of their form teacher...can really see the joy in her eyes too...:)

Anyway, today very fun. After school, it was supposed to be staff welfare day! yeah. first I haf cheng teng... all staff haf one...then at four, I'm supposed to haf roller blading lessons with some other colleagues, but the people with the skates were late.. so i went and loiter, then met a student in the council room. Was actually surprised that she told me she had to delete her previous entries on her blog because as a councillor, no one is supposed to write defamatory of vulgar remarks in one's blog. The councils were being told to delete of their previous entries if there have been nasty stuffs inside, and to set good example... wow, when I knew about this, I'm very happy for the standards my school's discipline committee set... but then it set me thinking? What if as a teacher I scold vulgarities in my blog too...? hmmm.... so I took a book, entitled "perfect putdowns and instant insults." Will now polish up my angmoh so that when I'm angry, I will still scold people without sounding vulgar...haha...

"Your ears are cute. Too bad there's nothing in between."
"Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested."
"The last time I saw something like you, I threw it a bone."
"You'll be a great fighter -- Your breath would knock anyone out."
"May I have your picture? I need it fro my dart board."

Anyway, after that, some teachers actually jio a few teachers to play volleyball with the school players. Really eye opener... They are really disciplined...think they have been taught well by the coach... they can really play...anyway, it's a fun game...playing against your own students...haha...though long long long time never play liao..in fact i even forgot how to serve...haha...

Finally around 1/2 hr later, the skates came...yeah..first time trying roller blading...so so so excited...legs painful sia...but at least I tried once..crash course on basic blading, such as break falling, standing on v-shape, walking, skating..then got wat BERP technique..haha...Balance, Edge, Rotating and Pressure...wow...can still remember after 6 hrs..not bad not bad...haha...haf lots of fun..but thank God no one is injured.. our school's OM joined us too..really one....but kanna saboed by students..take so many photos of us..haha..but at least tried something that is fun once....so happy!!!

Afte that, went to the baking course...and steal some bits and pieces from the people attending the course...nicely baked bread...yum yum! haha....

Went home, washed up, before going to church for usual friday night prayer group. Yeah, looking forward to this weekend. =)

Help them to help you

Today is an amazing day! Had my first observation by my NIE supervisor! Yeah. Actually was quite down coz prior to that, my CT had a chat with me, pinpointing to me areas of improvement for the lesson held in the morning. Sad cos i still know I have lots to learn, but happy coz I know the people who are grooming me are so zai, and got so much opportunities to learn.

But when I go for my lesson with my NIE sup, really am encouraged by my students. They really show a lot of enthusiasm, never talk, never sleep, never walk about, never do POA...opps reveal too much abt my class.... but anyway they very sweet today! They respond well, they behave well, they are so enthu, even their class work is wonderfully done! I'm surprised at the quality of their work. Marked their work till 6+ today, but the quality of the work is good. Many thanks to Sebestian for using his photo, sense that he quite paiseh... but he's still cheerful...

Some of my students even told me that they enjoy the lesson. So glad. Goes to show it takes two hands to clap. Teachers can only prepare the best lessons when students are quiet and well seated. I know that because I conducted the same type of lesson to another class in the same level, but the response is really not the same! The effect is not the same... and I'm sure the depth of their learning is not the same!

Recently, some of my teacher friends shared with me that despite their love and care to their students, many of their students are unappreciative, and they even maligned and says nasty things about them in their blogs. Just want to comment that teachers are like movie stars (yeah, man!) becoz they are always in the eyes of public, be it parents or students... Sometimes students may like you, sometimes students may dislike you, and we can't control how they feel about us. I's hurting at times, but I will just like to encourage you to continue to be the little candles to shine in their lives. But I will also like to take this opportunity to appeal to all students to learn to be kind to teachers. Many teachers I know take pains under the scene to help their students. In fact, many of them are even sacrificing their private time (come on, we have life out there lor...friends and family to care too. At least for me, I wanna watch my TV) and even their personal space because despite all odds, they still believe in builing up their students' lives. So pls treat them better..."Help them to help you."

Big discoveries

Today is the day of big discovery...

I discovery for the first time... the huge joy of satisfaction when your students like a particular lesson that you teach.... really wonderful... the feeling is good... good that for once, they enjoy, good that for once, your effort is paid off, for once, for once, the encourage is big... thanks so much, 36. Hope they keep up with the way lessons are going.

I discover that there's so much in teaching, and even the tiny details are so important in teaching. Thanks so much for my CTs, Mr Lee, Mr Sim and Mr Koh, for their invaluable feedback. Espeically today, Mr Lee and Mr Sim made me see so much that I have to learn, yet they are so encouraging. Thanks so much! Will keep it up.

I discover that I made a terrible mistake. I mistook that my NIE sup will be coming down today, but in actual fact he is coming down tomorrow. haha. serve me right. :)

I discover that gossip and rumours can really spread. Yesterday, Friend A told me about some juicy news as regards to Friend B, but today, after talking to Friend B, i realized that the news are no more than just unfounded gossip. Haha, though no one is hurt (i hope), I discover that we must be careful with what we say.

I discover that one of my NUS friends actually got a girlfriend! He is one of those friends that though close, he will not diverge too much of his private life to his friends, esp whether he is attached. But today actually caught him in the act holding hands... haha. He looked paiseh when he saw me too... Anyway felt happy for him.

I discover that I feel so secure where I know God is with me always.

Grow up

Got 2 classes today, one in the morning, after around noon time. Love the one in the morning. Students rather attentive. Most of them did their work as told. During the last 15-20 min, some of them even managed to almost complete the homework assignment. Well done. keep it up

The class in the afternoon is a bit restless. Maybe it's the last 2 lessons of the day. Got angry at quite a few, but still ended out well. Many, I would, say, is brilliant and have the potential to do well, but was unmotivated and uninterested? How, how to teach them well? hmm thank God there is still time to sort that out...

However, what really really ticks me off is that after school, I asked 14 students to stay back for re-remedial, but in the end, only 2 came! wah...that really really puts me off. What kind of attitude is that? Skipping remedial during holidays is already wrong for them..and now skipping remedial even when they are in school. To think I trusted them and not take their bags. Yet they... Really really put me off. Now even no mood to do other things...

The saddest thing in life, I feel, is, a person of potential gone to waste, not because there is not opportunites to do well, but because there is no attitute to do well.

The first day of school

Yeah first day of school... so happy! really fortunate that on mondays, I dun haf proper lessons... can spend my time preparing stuffs...

Went relief teaching for the first 2 periods... good class... not too noisy..but sec 4 liao... some of them would rather chat away of instead buck up for O lvls? Why?? Why?? Why?? Aiyoh...8 mths away to their big exam...they not kancheong I also kancheong lor...haha. But okie lar..have a good 2 periods with them. In the end, taught them some magic...they really excited lor..=)

Not much to be said about today, except that I attended the first science dept meeting. The HOD really is focused... 15 main points all settled within 2 hours... but the teachers really have lots of things to do after that...hope that our effort with be worth it.

Went back home. Tutored my tuition kid. all the concepts started coming back liao....kernel, linear independence, linear function, basis, vector space, subspace, rank, nullity, dimension...haha. Feels so good! Maths is so fun!

Had dinner and rested on 8 pm...finally can rest... watched 校园superstar...really excited on today's episode coz dunno who will get into the finals... supported zhiyang all the while coz he from my alma mater...way to go!!! can sing too. Got the highest marks so far!!! however i must admit renfred got the looks and stage presence, whereas adriano has his own style and charisma. anyway, to this point...it's not abt how well you sing, but rather how much your supporters are willing to fork out to support you. Luckily the school I'm teaching has no superstar... else all the students will complain no $$$$ left to eat...

Waiting the results to be out at 11.30pm...

Saved by God

"See, I have inscribed you on the palm of My hands..." - God, Isa 49:16

Drove today. Almost met with an accident. Was driving on the left most lane when some bugger suddenly cut into my lane from a filter lane... really really reckless!!! dun he know who has the right of way??!!! In the end, our cars were only a couple of cm apart! really dangerous. If the cars are damaged, it's hell for both parties! But really thank God for his protection. Felt really that every moment on the road is a dangerous experience. You nvr know what will happen... But I know that someone is always beside me, looking after me all the time...

Went out with dad and bro this morning. Brought a pastor from India to sight see. Pastor came to s'pore to attend convention and wanted to visit my church today. Wow... went to Mt Faber, Empress place etc..before going to church. church very happening. First time using projector for songs...haha..finally modernized...go high tech ..instead of OHP..haha... lots of things to do...need to type songs to powerpoint...wow...lots of prep work to be done in future. Then have dinner with family. Ate Bak ku teh again! wow..2nd time this wk liao.

Gee. School starts tmr... Need to rush rush rush liao... need to push students to study liao...Wanna them to score well ...turning into mr teacher once again...muahahaha.

Happy school reopening!

Church Camp

Last night, managed to create the tag box feature in my blog. Yeah, really thanks to my students who taught me how to install them. Goes to show that there are subjects that students are better than teachers, and teachers have to learn too. Too bad there is no such academic subject as blogology. Else my student sure get A1. However, when it comes to math and physics, I'm still the best, and my students have to learn from me...haha.

Today, went for church camp with the youths. Haha...in fact the church camp started last nite, and the youths stayed up in Sentosa till 12+..Sabo each other with flour, eggs, water etc... Happening... no wonder all look so tired today...haha...but they say quite fun... Thank God. Touched by morning worship and devotion, reminded that I have to continue praying for my school, its leaders, teachers and my students too, and to make a difference. After lunch, we had games. Kanna conned to go plaza sing for a wild goose chase in an Amazing Race-like game, before realising the end point is actually back in church. Wah...feeling of being cheated...haha..but we have fun in the end. After that, as the last team, we got saboed by being splashed with a mixture of flour, dye, eggs and dunno wat substance. Thank God they spared me coz i say i nvr bring extra clothes. However, actually quite irritated coz the youths splashed the gluey substance all over the place. Aiyoh splash here and there for fun, without considering the amount of washing up... But youths and indeed youths lah. Soon they will be able to grow up to become responsible adults hopefully, haha. Then went bbq before I left around 9+. Can't stay coz got things to do at home, and also tmr need to wake up early. Felt old too. Imagine sleeping ard 4 am the previous night if I am in the camp... Wah how to survive???

Kudos to the camp main comm, such as Daniel, Jiamei, Bingsheng, Nelson, Wanni. It's a job well done I must say. Daniel is very creative in the games, Jiamei really takes pains in ensuring the smooth running of the camp, and Bingsheng, Nelson, Wanni are great leaders for the respective groups. Well done!

Friday before school starts

"But as for me, I will always have hope, I will praise you more and more." - Ps 71:14

The difference between a Christian and non Christian is that as a Christian, though life is difficult, I still have hope that life turns out good in the end. Really see 2 prayers answered today. But shan't go into details for the time being. Wah...last nite some students criticized that my blogskin very "ah pek" . Very "ah pek" meh? Looks fine, user friendly, easy-readable and clear cut. I'm so proud of it...haha Anyway this morning went school for math meeting. Glad the HOD invited a very experienced teacher, Mr Chan, to share with us some ways in teaching math. Wow. 获益不潜。 really enriching experience. He's super power lor. For example, when asked, "How do you teach students that (-1) x (-1) = 1, this is how he shared.

My friend's friend is my friend. 1 x 1 = 1
My friend's enemy is my enemy. 1 x (-1) = - 1
My enemy's friend is my enemy. (-1) x 1 = - 1
My enemy's enemy is my friend. (-1) x (-1) = 1

Not very mathematical, but at least, most students get the point.
Meeting last till 12+. After that went out with some colleagues for lunch. Ate ba ku teh for lunch at a coffeshop. $27.50 for 4 people. Super expensive! wow. To think that ba ku teh was discovered by the poorest people many years back (my history of food quite zai rite? haha). Then go back school, did some work, before going to meet parents. Visited my grandpa, who visited the doctor again (due to constipation). Very sad that his health isn't that good. Pls pray for him. Went back home for dinner before proceeding to church for prayer meeting.
After that, wanted to meet up with my NIE friends (miss them coz long time never come tgr liao) but in the end cancelled. So went back home and slept. Lazy boy...haha.

Life in the holidays

Today, went to school around 9 am. very surprised when the school admin told me that the mother of one of my students wanted me to call her. Haha, first time ever a parent wanted to hear from me in my life as a teacher. Thought it at first to be a complaint of some sort... imagine getting complained just 4 wks teaching a school! not bad for a starter... But in the end, the mother just wanted to find out that her boy indeed came to school for my remedial, and praised me for taking initiative to conduct personal tuition for students who want to learn in school. Gee.. so sweet to encourage me... if only more parents encourage the effort and initiative teachers put in... really makes our lives brighter. Thank God the the encouragement.

Then conducted remedial at 11.30am for my math class... around 8-10 ppl turned up... but settled the whole worksheet in less than 20 min. One student commented that smaller classes are good, cos effective learning takes place. Wanted to tell her that as teachers, I also prefer smaller classes... but well...it means more cost for schools to run... which means more of tax-payers $$$$.

Dunno my class...but everytime they see me, they sure want sweet... or food...or whatever... aiyoh, dun they know teachers are the poorest creatures alive? Haha... but they quite sweet, jio me to go TBP with them for lunch. However, need to clear really lots of stuffs during the holz... so can't go with them. Envy them as students, after remedial, got time to go shopping, eating etc... now as a teacher, became slave to school, to students...yah... but no complaints, coz i got my share of fun in the past liao :)

So happy that today, one student actually asked me to conduct tuition for him in school from 2.15-3pm once every wk in school... the first of my after school programme... hopefully his enthusiasm holds, but things look bright from the start. Thank God!

Got home around 4+. then my new tuition kid came...yeah so excited to have one after 9 mths of no tuition. Taught him JC Further maths... wah super rusty liao...like wat polar coordinates, vector space, ODE, linear algebra, matrices..wah..super chim...dunno can cope or not... but excited because it's good opportunity to polish up my math as well... and also inspire lives...haha

One friend commented wat for write blog? many ppl who writes blog, their english cannot make it (CMI)...haha...that i agree...juz look at my blog... that's the reason why i dun wan to teach english...haha...maths is FUNNER... dun u think so? ;)

I'm back

Created this blog more than one year ago, but as you can see, not much of an entry so far...
As I read through my student's blog pages, i realise that the present generation of youths express their feelings through blogs... to think that they actually follow an ethic code of blog conduct, that one shouldn't steal the skin of someone else's blog. Really something new to me.

Maybe now, this is the time to revive my blog, to tell students how abused teachers feel when students ill-treated them... haha. Hopefully got somemore stuffs to write about.